When you fall in love with someone, you will eventually have to ask: is this relationship for now, or forever?
Marriage is a big deal, it’s a final commitment, and not everyone wants to get married. If you want to get married, it can be frustrating to know that the man you love doesn’t want the same thing. Maybe he doesn’t want to get married at all, or maybe he doesn’t want to get married.
No one wants to waste their time in a dead end. No one wants to spend years with someone who isn’t–and probably never was–on the same page. There are certain things to look for, certain signs that will tell you that the result you want is in the cards, but you have to really look…and most people don’t.
Sometimes it’s easier to just ignore it to avoid facing the truth you don’t want to accept…that maybe the man you love doesn’t want to marry you.
To help you get an idea and see clearly, here are 15 definite signs that he will never marry you.
Top 15 Signs He’ll Never Pop the Question
1. He won’t give you a straight answer
He changes the story whenever there is a wedding. And when he talks about it, he only talks about it in a funny, sarcastic way. You have absolutely no idea where you stand, which is a huge red flag in a relationship.
Common responses you get when you try to talk about it are: You need more time. You need things in the relationship to change. He needs things in his life to change. Why are you bringing this up now? Can we talk about this another time? Everything is great, why do you need to smash? I’m stressed at work, I can’t talk about this right now.
2. He gets angry when you try to talk about it
When it comes to marriage or commitment, he gets angry, defensive, and uncomfortable.
Probably at the root of it, he feels incredibly guilty. He knows—consciously or not—that he doesn’t want to marry you, but he also doesn’t want you to leave, so he gets upset when you put him in a position where he has to admit that he can’t give you what you want. He wishes you would just leave the subject alone so he can deal with it and this comes off as boring and boring.
3. He won’t be “legal”
Forget marriage, if he won’t even commit to giving you the label and being your official boyfriend (or if you had to whip him to finally call you his girlfriend), then he doesn’t see you as his lifelong partner.
If you bring it up, he might say something along the lines of he likes things the way they are, he doesn’t like labels, why change things?
This is just an empty excuse. When a guy says he doesn’t want to be in a formal relationship, he means he doesn’t want to be in a formal relationship. you too…he enjoys being with her now.
4. “He doesn’t believe in marriage”
He says marriage is just a piece of paper… it doesn’t really mean anything… nothing good can come of it. Boys don’t talk in code; when he says something, believe him and don’t read!
Don’t make the mistake of seeing this as some kind of challenge. Don’t make it your goal in life to convert him into a believer.
Take it exactly as it is. If you want to get married, and he doesn’t want you then either you need to learn to be OK with that or you need to move on to someone who wants what you want.
5. Living away from his family and close friends
If you’ve never met his friends and family, that’s a huge red flag. If you have met his friends and family, but you don’t really know know to them, it’s a bit of a red flag but still a flag nonetheless.
If he doesn’t really bring you in; doesn’t really invite you to family events; he doesn’t really put you out there to have fun with his close friends; he doesn’t really care if you love them or they love you; then it means that he is not really all that you have planted in you.
6. He still doesn’t know…
You have been together for many years, maybe you live together, you know each other inside and out…. but he just says “he doesn’t know.” What this really means is that he knows… he just doesn’t know know how can i tell you.
Guys tend to know early on when they meet one. Ask any married man when he knew his wife was “the one” and the answer will likely be very early, just before the six-month mark together.
7. He shuts you out
He won’t talk about problems with you. He withdraws and shuts you out. It looks like he is about to break up with you. He doesn’t let you in and you have no idea about his emotional world.
When a man brings a woman in, he puts money into her. Men don’t easily take off their masks and show their true colors to the world. This is reserved for a select and very special few. When a man lets you in, really in, he’s deeply invested in you. If he builds walls, he tries to stop you.
8. He can’t do conflict
Part of being in a healthy relationship includes being able to handle conflict. This will not always be perfect, sometimes it will be worse than others, but both partners are on the same team. Both are trying to reach a solution and they are working together to get there.
They do not go to war as enemies. Actually, it is both of them who are facing the problem, not both of them against each other. Conflict is a way to find a solution, not an opportunity to tear each other down.
If he shuts up when a problem arises, or blames you and maybe threatens to break up with you, it’s a big sign that he’s not ready for marriage.
Marriage is a lifelong relationship. Sometimes these partners don’t agree and that’s when the strength of your relationship comes into question. If he won’t talk about it, won’t work on it, and shuts you out, then you won’t have much of a relationship. Instead, you will spend your life walking on eggshells out of fear of rocking the boat.
Disagreement often strengthens a couple. It can be a path to success and deeper understanding. In the case of a guy who doesn’t want to marry you, he may be avoiding arguments about the relationship status because he knows deep down that he doesn’t want to marry you. At the same time, he doesn’t want to lose you… so he avoids. He avoids conflict and avoids talking about it.
This is often unconscious and harmless. He may think he just needs more time to figure things out and so he moves the conversation away so he doesn’t have to deal with it right now.
Either way, when a guy isn’t willing or able to work with you when problems arise, it’s a big sign that he’s not ready for marriage, or maybe he just doesn’t want to marry you.
9. He doesn’t really care about your plans for the future
You say you might want to go to school and he doesn’t really care… or that you want to live in another country for a while… or have other goals for the future. He doesn’t care because he knows he won’t be affected by these things because you’re not someone he sees as a long-term romantic partner.
He also doesn’t talk about his plans for the future, or when he does, he doesn’t seem to really include it.
10. He will propose to you in no time…
As soon as he gets that promotion … as soon as he’s off season … as soon as he’s settled into his new house .. .as soon as he can buy a really nice ring … as soon as he feels financially sound … as soon as you guys stop fighting … as soon as the sky turns blue.
It doesn’t matter how many of these “instant” he earns, there will always be new excuses. You’re just buying yourself time and all these excuses to wait for the “right time” that will suddenly come.
11. You feel hopeless and depressed
How do you feel about this relationship? Be honest. If you feel needy, insecure, and hopeless, then it’s a big sign that you’re in a dysfunctional relationship, where you’re too invested.
You should never beg and plead for commitment. If he’s a good guy, he’ll give himself to you eagerly and happily. He will do whatever it takes.
If you feel like you spend most of your time in the relationship convincing him to marry you… or trying to show him that you can be a good wife… it’s a sign that you’re on a completely different page, one that doesn’t involve you or the dating scene.
12. You have a negative view of marriage
You really feel bad for married people, you think their lives are boring, dull, and boring. When her friend gets engaged, she feels pity, not joy.
He sees marriage as life in prison and the possibility of release (ie divorce), but that comes at the risk of half of your income and he would rather not do it.
13. You underestimate your relationship with others
When people ask about the relationship, he downplays it and says it’s not that serious. He doesn’t seem proud to be your man. If a man has true love, he wants to show off his lady. He is proud to be his own man, he feels like the luckiest guy in the world and wants to show his luck to anyone and everyone.
Another thing is that her friends and family (if she ever told them about it) do not treat you as if you are a special person to her, you are just one of the girls.
Once a guy finds “the one” it becomes clear and his friends and family all know it…and it shows in the way they treat their girl.
14. He proposed…but he won’t set a date
Maybe he finally failed and popped the question… but he still doesn’t want to get married.
Why would he do such a thing? Maybe he is looking for to be sure and think if he makes a big move it will take him there. Or perhaps buying more time, literally.
But then he has to face the music. He can stop, refuse to stop the wedding day, basically by using roadblocks in every channel that makes the planning of the wedding impossible
If you’ve been engaged for a few months and he still hasn’t set a date, and there’s no good reason why, chances are he never will.
15. You just know he’s not your boyfriend
Sometimes you can find yourself trying so hard to get him to choose you that you forget to ask yourself if he’s right for you. You know the truth deep down, it’s not always easy or pleasant to admit.
There you have it. Signs that he will never marry you. I know this can be stressful to read, especially if a few of these are true, but it’s better to know now. Don’t fool yourself into having something you want. Don’t stay with someone who clearly can’t give you what you want because you’re afraid to go out and start over. It is better to be alone than to be with someone who is not right for you.
In summary…
- He won’t give you a straight answer
- He gets angry when you try to talk about it
- He will not be “legal”
- “He doesn’t believe in marriage”
- Keeping him away from his family and close friends
- He still doesn’t know…
- He shuts you out
- He can’t do conflict
- He doesn’t really care about your plans for the future
- He will request a proposal from you soon…
- You feel hopeless and depressed
- He has a very negative view of marriage
- You underestimate your relationship with others
- He proposed…but he won’t set a date
- You just know he’s not your guy
