It’s hard to decide whether you should end the relationship or give your partner another chance because you don’t want to make the wrong decision. But you will understand. To help, here are some questions to ask yourself if you’re not sure whether you should stay or break up:
Are your visions for the future compatible?
Unfortunately, the love you have for each other is not enough. You need to have the same vision for your future. If you don’t agree about where you want to live, whether you want to get married and whether you want children, you may have to separate. You don’t want to sacrifice your dreams for them, and you don’t want to ask them to do that for you. It is a form of anger.
Do you have the same battles over and over again, or do you actually solve problems when they arise?
Every couple will have arguments. What matters is how you handle those conflicts. If you sit down to have mature conversations and actively listen to your partner’s point of view to grow as a couple, you are on the right track. But if you feel like your problems aren’t being solved, like you’re fighting the same thing over and over again, you’re stuck. And there is no guarantee that things will ever change.
Do you treat each other with respect, even when your emotions are running high?
It doesn’t matter if you are drunk or angry. There is no good excuse for name-calling or threatening your partner. You should always treat each other with respect, regardless of how you feel.
Are you able to forgive each other for past mistakes or do you hold grudges?
Everyone makes mistakes, but whether or not you can forgive those mistakes is the key. If you can move on from the past, then you will grow as a couple. But if one of you has crossed an unforgivable boundary that cannot be crossed as long as you are together, then it is better to break up. You don’t want your past to ruin your future. You don’t want to live with a partner you don’t trust.
Are you both contributing to the relationship and putting in equal effort, or is only one person doing the work?
Both partners need to be on the same page for a relationship to work. You can’t keep it alone. You cannot do the work of two people. If your partner is not willing to put in the effort, then there is nothing you can do on your own.
Do you feel comfortable being around them or do you act to impress them?
You have to trust that your man loves you for you. You have to be able to let your guard down around them and be the most authentic version of you. If you feel judged by them, you don’t belong to them.
What are you doing honestly search to be with them or just feel like you have to stay?
You are allowed to leave. You don’t owe this person your time or your attention, because they have a history. If you want to break up, don’t let guilt stop you. Do what will make you happiest in the end.
