There is a difference between being in love and being close to someone. Love is selfless, soft, protective, and free, while attachment is selfish, restrictive, and dependent. When you are attached to someone, you eventually settle down one way or another.
Being settled in love is not easy to admit, let alone to see. It is a subtle and slow process.
Here are some signs that it is not love, you are already settling:
You are no longer motivated.
You are no longer in love with the relationship. You don’t feel happy when your partner walks into the room. You don’t want to jump their bones and deal with them the way you used to. Your sex life is unfulfilled. You don’t get butterflies when they text you. There’s no spark or enthusiasm—it’s gone.
He has a fear of loneliness.
When you settle down in love, you finally fill a void of sorts. And that space is lonely.
You stay in a relationship because you depend on it. According to psychologists, dependence on a person is caused by a lack of self-confidence and a deep need for the approval of others. (Sorry but it’s true.)
You also stay in a relationship because you are afraid of being alone and it shouldn’t be like that. You should have someone you love sincerely love again sincerely He enjoyed being with you, not just because they made you feel lonely.
You are lowering your standard.
When you settle down in your relationship, you eventually lower your standards of what you want in a partner and a relationship. Maybe you accept being treated badly. Maybe your partner doesn’t meet your minimum needs and you don’t speak up to ask for what you deserve. Perhaps you have finally resigned from the relationship, believing that this is the best you can do. “We accept the love we think we deserve.”
You deserve more. Your needs are not too many. Your standards are not very high. You have already settled into a relationship with the wrong person.
You feel unappreciated and unsupported.
If you feel unappreciated or unsupported in your relationship, chances are you need to make amends. Your partner should support your goals, dreams, and aspirations. They should lift you up and make you feel beautiful, secure, confident, and unstoppable. They should be proud of you and want to show off about you. Their lack of support and ungratefulness is not something you should solve.
He is divided in spirit.
You may feel emotionally drained from the relationship. You no longer have a strong emotional connection with your partner. You don’t have those deep conversations anymore. You no longer feel that sympathy and compassion for them or the relationship. All in all, you just get numb.
You compare your relationship with others.
If you see your friends in a relationship and think, They look happy. Am I that happy? you are more likely to settle down in your relationship. You compare your relationship with others and feel unfulfilled and like you should be happy. You can’t help but feel like something is missing, like everyone else has a happy relationship and you don’t. Not only are you comparing your relationship with others, but you may find yourself often daydreaming about being in a different, fulfilling relationship with someone else. You ask yourself how can that be.
You ignore your gut feelings and red flags.
This is one of the biggest signs that you are stable in love. You ignore the red flags and continue to wear rose-colored glasses. You ignore your gut feelings and instead, suppress them. You do this because you are afraid to be alone or to start over.
You feel free, uncomfortable.
There is a difference between complacency and complacency. If you are comfortable in your relationship, you are probably safe from your partner. You feel secure and satisfied. However, when you are uncomfortable, you end up allowing yourself to stay stuck in a relationship just because it is normal, not because it brings you security, satisfaction and happiness.
