It has long been said that narcissists like to create love triangles and arouse jealousy in their partners – thousands of partners of narcissistic and psychopathic singles have shared their experiences with this phenomenon. There is now a wealth of research that supports and documents this behavior in individuals and points to surprising motivations behind what is called “envy induction” in the research literature. In my 2022 research conducted at Harvard University and published in the journal of Personality and Individual DifferencesI found a significant positive correlation between both narcissistic (including both vulnerable and grandiose narcissism) and psychopathic partner characteristics and the use of manipulation tactics such as the induction of envy, especially grandiose narcissism and psychopathy. Some research shows why narcissists and psychopaths engage in this type of behavior. The findings of this study indicate that narcissistic and psychopathic partners can arouse jealousy a strategy for gaining power and control over their partners.
Why Do Narcissists and Psychopaths Cause Jealousy on Purpose?
Why would a narcissist or psychopath deliberately provoke jealousy? According to research, it may depend on the “subtype” of their particular “type” of pathology.
It seems that according to a certain type of narcissism or psychopathy at play, the induction of jealousy can be used even more as an offensive, counterintuitive, unrepentant strategy to gain power and control a partner – and in some cases, it can also be used as a defensive, active strategy aimed at compensating for low self-esteem or personal revenge. jealous or check and protect the relationship.
Researchers Tortoriello and colleagues (2017) investigated whether people with large and vulnerable characteristics are involved in strategic envy. In their research, they found that major narcissists (entitled, seeking praise and superiority) arouse jealousy in their partners for the purpose of power and control, while more narcissists are vulnerable (very sensitive and emotional) jealousy caused by gaining power and control and exact revenge on a partner, testing and strengthen relationships, seek security, and compensate for low self-esteem.
Those with psychopathic traits also engage in the induction of jealousy. In a 2017 research study conducted by Masar and colleagues, 347 people (men and women) filled out measures of cognitive affect, envy, and envy induction. This study found that people who exhibit the characteristics of primary psychopathy (a subtype of psychopathy associated with high and low anxiety and said to be “innate” rather than environmental) tend to intentionally provoke jealousy in order to gain control over their partners and “direct revenge” (for example, in cases where they felt jealous themselves).
Similar to vulnerable narcissists in another study conducted by Tortoriello and colleagues, those who had symptoms of secondary psychopathy (highly associated with criminal behavior and obsession and thought to be influenced by nature) also caused jealousy to gain power and control, but also to check the relationship again gain confidence.
Psychopaths Get Jealous, Too
Interestingly, both primary and secondary psychopathy were associated with coping emotional jealousy (jealousy in response to perceived threat), while secondary psychopathy was associated with both emotional and suspicious jealousy (Jealousy that is unfounded and focuses on anxiety about infidelity and “checking” behavior such as going through their partner’s things or messages). This suggests that although psychopathic partners may repeatedly arouse jealousy, they may also be jealous and suspicious when it comes to their partners.
What Does Induction of Jealousy Look Like?
Induction of jealousy can take many forms. Narcissistic and psychopathic partners may engage in overt or implicit comparisons designed to make partners compete for their attention or work hard to gain their approval. They may mention past or present love interests or hint at their own deceptions or affairs, presenting “competitors” in the hope that their partner shows insecurity or evidence of great attraction to the narcissist as a result. Technology has made jealousy more prevalent in the digital world, as narcissists and psychopaths can now annoy their partners on social media.
How Do You Heal From Jealousy Induction?
Healing from repetitive patterns of jealousy is not easy. Narcissists and psychopaths may train you to constantly compete and compare, causing you to lose a sense of your unique qualities and place in your relationship. In the healing journey, it is important to first recognize the motivations of why these people engage in such deceptive behavior. If your partner has strong narcissistic traits, he or she may have sought power over you. If your partner fits the bill of psychopathy, they may even want to retaliate by feeling jealous and friendly because of the romantic attention and interest. you you were accepted by others, even if it wasn’t because of your “fault”. If they had high-risk narcissistic traits, they may be insecure and seek validation and a sense of power and control. They may have wanted to reduce feelings of inadequacy and “test” your love for them. Either way, realizing that their cruel, calculated behavior (or demanding, unusual behavior) wasn’t your fault is important to asserting yourself and resisting gaslighting and blame.
In addition, it is important that you get support in processing your trauma, especially from a mental health professional. For example, specialized trauma therapies such as Eye-Movement Desensitization Reprocessing therapy (EMDR) can help you process traumatic events while bypassing the normal higher amygdala response that causes emotional distress. Therapies such as Dialectical Behavior Therapy can teach you powerful awareness and tools to manage emotions when you are triggered. This can help you feel safe as you learn the hurtful situations and traps that have been placed on you about your sense of worth.
Reconnecting with your uniqueness is also important. You might want to write down all the good qualities and characteristics that you have and that others see in you as a reminder of the sense of self that was diminished throughout the toxic relationship. If you’ve experienced jealousy or an unhealthy relationship with an alcoholic, you’re not alone, and help is available. Remember that you have always been “enough” and that no one who is right for you will ever make you compete with them for attention.
