It’s easy to overemphasize certain qualities when looking for someone to spend your life with. This is reasonable enough; love is a bond and you want to make sure you get it right. However, sometimes, focusing too much on certain things can make finding your person very difficult.
Here are eight things you should stop focusing on when searching for your soul mate.
1. Your appearance.
Someone who is right for you will love you younot the way you look. Although physical attraction is important, your soul mate will find you beautiful no matter what.
Stop letting insignificant factors like your weight or other physical characteristics stop you from putting yourself out there. And by the way? If someone wanted you to lose five pounds or have a different hair color to date you, that’s not the person you want to be with. Trust.
2. You need to feel the butterflies.
Often when deciding if someone is right for you, you look to see if they feel that “spark” of magic when you first meet. You know, butterflies. And if you don’t feel that connection right away when you meet someone, you write off the wrong person and move on to the next one.
Here’s the thing, though: feeling butterflies isn’t an accurate gauge of compatibility. In fact, those buzzing feelings you get are more about lust than anything else. And besides, chemistry can build over time. Pay attention to other things like their values, how they treat you and others, and how they make you feel about yourself instead.
3. Your “type”.
While it’s perfectly fine to have an idea of what type of person you can see yourself dating, dating only your “type” is a surefire way to make finding your soul mate difficult. And, if your brand doesn’t work yet, there strength be the reason why. Branch out.
4. You need to love all the same things.
Although shared interests are important, they are equal (and perhaps even More) it is important to have different desires outside of the relationship. Don’t hang up on them saying they love country music and you hate it. Embrace the difference.
5. Perfection.
You will never find the perfect partner. You will never be perfect either. And you will never have a perfect relationship. But if you’re lucky, you’ll still find someone who’s imperfect and still worth loving (and who loves you because of your imperfections).
Now, let me be a lot It’s clear: Focusing less on red flags does not it means ignoring obvious mistreatment, bad behavior, or direct signs of non-compliance. This is just a reminder that green flags are just as important as red flags.
Staying defensive and hunting for bad signs can ruin the chance for something great. First, you can always find something wrong if you look hard enough. Additionally, starting a romance through your walls is not the way to build trust.
7. The truth is you can get your heart broken.
The sad truth of falling in love is that there will always be a risk of heartbreak. Even if you are getting married or engaged or dating for a long time. Nothing is always guaranteed; something can always happen between the two of you that separates you.
Your soul mates can also break your heart. And relationships don’t last forever. But that’s part of what makes love beautiful in the first place; it is an act of hope.
If you are looking for your soul mate, stop focusing so much on trying to avoid getting hurt and focus on taking your faith with another person.
8. The idea that there is only one soulmate for you.
You have many soul mates; we all do. Don’t put too much pressure on someone being “The One” and instead rebrand them as “The One” instead. Once you realize this, finding your soul mate will be much more difficult and much more enjoyable.
