Loving others doesn’t have to mean losing yourself. Rania Naim reminds us that neglecting your own needs in order to save someone else is not faith—it is too much devotion. Just like a book Finding God Every Day by Rebecca Simon, true faith teaches us to trust God in what we cannot fix and to honor our healing. Learn how to set boundaries and make choices without guilt—read more below.
God did not ask you to ignore yourself to save others, especially those who hurt you. It’s easy to get lost in trying to save someone you love or keep a relationship going because you believe in someone’s power or think your presence in their life will eventually change them. The truth is, trying so hard to save others while you are in pain is not supportive, it is self-sacrifice. Loving someone doesn’t mean losing yourself in the process. God did not ask you to be their savior, faith does not ask us to continue trying to fix what was broken by another, that is not our job, it is God’s job.
You can try to be there for someone in difficult times or love someone in their worst, but when it comes to a place where you do all the heavy lifting and put your own needs aside, then that’s where you need to draw the line. This is when you have to decide that you can only do so much; the rest is not up to you. It’s up to God. Only God can save a person, only God can heal him or push him to pick up the broken pieces, because when we try to pick up the pieces of another person, we don’t see that we are the ones who are bleeding.
Faith does not ask you to keep rebuilding what someone else keeps tearing down. You can’t sit at home trying to keep everyone happy and everyone safe, but no one is watching. You can’t stay in a relationship where you are the only giver, giver and giver without feeling like you are unworthy or unworthy of love. You can’t be friends with people who always expect you to meet their needs, but never do the same for you. Neglecting to please others usually means that you are not in touch with God or your faith, because if you were, you would understand that true faith teaches moderation, it teaches you to love others but not at the expense of your soul.
Your healing begins when you realize that choosing yourself is not selfish, it requires a final act of faith. God does not want you to live where your heart is always broken. So don’t feel guilty about going or setting limits. Don’t feel bad that you have to choose for yourself. You are less loving for protecting your heart and less loyal for backing down from someone who keeps breaking you. Sometimes, the most spiritual thing you can do is to stop saving those who continue to destroy themselves and sometimes you have to say this is where I go and trust God to handle the rest.
