At some point, settling down stops feeling humble and starts feeling like you’ve forgotten who you are. In Finding God Every DayRebecca Simon thinks about respecting your worth, trusting God’s timing, and believes that you were created for love that reflects His heart.
I’m tired of pretending I’m almost romantic. I’m tired of pretending to live through thoughtless text exchanges and aloof effort. I’m tired of accepting half-baked tenderness, attention with one foot out the door, from people who want to feel the depth of my presence without being responsible for my heart.
Along the way I convinced myself that this was enough. That it was better to have something, anything elserather than having nothing at all. I told myself that he felt sorry for me. I told myself to keep my heart quiet. I told my soul to lower its hopes. I swallowed my hope and laughed along with everyone else in my generation, pretending I didn’t mind being someone’s option, maybe, someone else’s, a passerby’s comfort.
But the truth is, God, I care about you.
I was never made for unconditional love. I was never meant to give my heart to pieces. I don’t connect with relationships built on avoidance and uncertainty. My heart aches for something deeper, something grounded, something real, and I’m tired of pretending it doesn’t exist.
It feels like a shame to want what I want, God. Longing to surrender to a world that celebrates separation. To believe in the kind of love that lasts, to believe in the goodness of showing someone your whole heart and nothing less. It feels weak sometimes, like I’m asking for too much.
God, remind me that it’s not weakness – it’s how you made me.
He created me with a heart that hopes for depth, honesty, closeness that doesn’t need to be chased or begged. You designed me to show you love — the kind of love that doesn’t run when the going gets tough, the kind of love that lasts, the kind of love that lasts.
Please help me stop apologizing for the state of my heart God. Help me to stop pretending that I belong probably where I long for you forever. Help me trust that my desire for true love is not something to be ashamed of – it is something to be respected.
And when loneliness gets to me, when the temptation to seek attention dressed as love comes, remind me of my true worth, God. Remind me that I don’t have to limit my desire or silence my heart to be chosen for someone. Remind me that waiting for something real and solid is worth every moment of doubt, worth every night spent alone.
I am tired, God, but I choose to believe. I choose to believe that somewhere, there is a love like yours waiting for me. Strong love, sure love, love unlike anything I’ve ever felt.
Strengthen me in waiting, God. Keep my heart for those who take without giving. Teach me how to be at peace with the space I maintain to communicate what is right, with the love that chooses me fully and without hesitation.
Thank you for seeing the parts of me that I try to hide, God. Thank you for appreciating the very things that I am sure I call “too many.” Thank you for holding my heart so gently. I trust you with this, God. I trust what you have in store for me.
