I have always believed in creation. Predestination, in the sense that God predestines people to come together, arranges circumstances to happen as they do, and that our decisions, though our own and reaching our free will, fall the way they were meant to be. It happened according to His plan.
I believe that what is meant to be, just is.
And that everything we meet and everyone we meet, crosses our paths for a reason.
This can be teaching, challenging our faith, strengthening. It can help us to value our life or our friendships, or learn to remove ourselves from those who are not good for us. It can show us the brokenness of the world, or beauty.
These situations we encounter, these people we open our lives to—they are lessons, they are blessings.
So when I think about the two of us, I think about the ways we crossed paths at the right time, I think about how weird and wonderful it was that we fell in love. That God created us both, flawed and complex, and he put the threads of our lives together in that moment.
God saw something in us that we did not see in ourselves. That our weaknesses, our fearful souls, our tender hearts will find homes in each other.
We made our own decisions—where we would go to college, what we would wear that Thursday night, the words we would say when we smiled at a table full of people—and it was all as He intended.
He watched as our decisions fell according to what He knew all along—that our eyes would close, that our laughter would explode, that despite the odds and the way the world loved us, we would find something in each other worth pursuing.
He knew we would fall in love. And he knew that loving each other would ignite us both.
He saw the months of happiness, the gentle way we kissed, the way we shouted with burning love, and the way we felt things deeply, even in tragedy. Even in our destruction.
He saw what we would be before we did.
And He continues to see what we cannot—where we will go.
When I think of us, I think of how we stumbled into our lives as if by accident. But I know it wasn’t a chance. We found each other because this was meant to happen. I was meant to fall for you, and you did for me. We were meant to be whatever we are, whatever we are.
But that’s when I knew I needed to turn to God again.
Because I don’t know.
I don’t know if we have reached the end. When we become each other’s blessings, lessons, love we will carry forever. I don’t know if this is what I was meant to understand—that people don’t stay together all the time, they can’t because their lives have to go in different, opposite directions.
I don’t know if I should go and be thankful for what was, or believe that love is something that doesn’t disappear, even after months and years.
I cannot answer these questions. So whatever we will be, I leave it to God.
I give him my worries and doubts, my frustrations and insecurities. I give him the broken and scary parts of me. I give him all the love I have poured out to us, and more.
I leave it to Him. I put our future in His hands.
No matter what we will be, no matter how the changes and conditions of our lives will be fulfilled, I trust God to bring me to where I am supposed to be. Bring us to where we are meant to be, together or apart.
I have always believed in creation. It was by fate, by His plan that we found each other.
And it will be with this end, this plan when we meet again.
