What a corny topic, right? And yet it is one of the truest phrases I can use to describe myself—i an imperfect Christian. But what does that mean? Christianity is plagued by all kinds of personality and challenges and sometimes resistance, that in the end you call yourself an imperfect Christian, right from the start, to realize that you are an imperfect person.
On the other hand, Christians should seek perfection. That is the direct request of Jesus, who says: “Be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect.” On the other hand, in my Catholic upbringing, the fact that we are all sinners, Proverbs quotes, “a righteous man sins seven times a day,” and the need for forgiveness and reconciliation was and is always emphasized.
I guess I was lucky in that; the way I was raised made me not think that I was “holy enough.” Oh, that word-sacred. It is said with great fear or contempt in everyday conversation. It is a name that many Christians would like to keep in the collection, almost like another name. He knows sin.
Sin, for all intents and purposes, is a sin against God. And in many cultures, therefore, it is also a crime against other people. It comes in many shapes and sizes; you work, you do nothing, you are open, you are hidden, and if a person’s conscience is formed in a certain way, and if he is really an imperfect Christian, it is always troubling. I am a sinner, and I do not hesitate to admit it. I feel comfortable when I am with other people who do; I feel uncomfortable when someone says otherwise.
Well, that’s not all I am. Even within this imperfect Christian personality of mine, I believe I still do good things, some godly things. And I find that realizing that I’m not just a sinner is just as important as realizing that I am.
You see, I think people forget that we all have diversity in who we are, in any and all of our identities. But most of all, I think that Christian identity is always a multifaceted thing when we consider all religious teachings.
The truth is, Jesus who said, “Love your enemy,” is the one who said, “I did not come to bring peace but to bring a sword.” He was the one who said, “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone,” and he was the one who took out the whip to beat the people who were selling in the temple.
This is to tell me that Jesus, who I believe is perfect, is ultimately a multi-faceted person, who forgave both sinners, sought love and a difficult sacrifice, yet contained the anger of righteousness and unfailing steadfastness in the truth.
If Christianity means anything, it means loving Jesus in His whole face. We love Jesus who hung on the cross, and we also love Jesus who wears a crown. And somehow, in the midst of the imperfection of human life, you find a way to come to terms with your sin and fear God.
Somehow, you find a way to live with yourself, in body, in soul, always struggling between good and evil, where the answers are not always as clear as day and night. It requires meditation, wisdom, and humility, and above all, the attitude that a person is ultimately a creature who cannot say that he fully knows the mind of God.
Of the many things I ask God for, forgiveness is always somewhere at the top. Or at least, I try to remember this. What else can you do when you’re not perfect? So maybe I don’t only need God’s forgiveness but also the people I’m with who have to put up with my imperfections, who sometimes love me deeply despite it. And finally, shouldn’t I do the same for them?
Now, love is a complicated matter when you are a Christian because just as God loves everyone but does not accept everything that a person does “it deserves to be loved.” In the same way, I think that one can love all—or at least try—even oneself, while being aware of the need to change, the need to be less comfortable with one’s imperfection.
My favorite quote about love that I heard at a conference was, “Love without truth is condemnation, truth without love is cruelty.”
The truth is the Gospel – the good news – the reason to believe in Jesus, the truth that Jesus came to bring, is difficult. And when you consider human imperfection, it seems impossible to reach. However I believe, as I have been told, that good news is always good, even when it is difficult.
If you believe what you like in the Gospel, and reject what you do not like, it is not the Gospel that you believe, but yourself.
Augustine St
Sometimes, I think our imperfections get in the way of this. But mostly, I think our lack of awareness of the complexity of Christianity and Jesus Himself gets us in our own way.
It can help us to remember the words of another saint, St. Francis of Assisi, who said, “The Gospel must be preached at all times, if necessary with words.” And somehow, in our imperfections, I think we can still find a way to do good, to say and do what is right, and to live right.
Knowing that beauty is always in the middle, big questions don’t have easy answers, and humility is necessary for faith, but so is courage. And love—hard, complicated love—for our person
