GEMINI
Love doesn’t work with timetables, or five-year plans, or everyone’s newsfeed, which drives Gemini completely up the wall. All other aspects of their lives fall into line and adhere to strict schedules that Gemini makes like a Von Trapp child answering the whistle. But with love there is no to-do list, no sequence of tasks that can guarantee a happy life with a satisfying partner. An automatic feature is required. You have to react to what is in front of you, and know when something is worth choosing. You will never be completely ready to meet “the right person”. You will be tired or hungry or have loads of dirty laundry waiting for you at home, but for the right person anything can be put on the back burner. Because love is a tricky thing that can’t be rushed, or waited, like a Totino’s pizza roll that’s cool enough not to irritate your mouth, but will lose its appeal if left to sit for too long. Strike while the frozen food is hot, Gemini!
CANCER
You live alone, Cancer. You can manage all the household chores, all the daily tasks, and still fit enough enrichment and leisure time in there to make life enjoyable. You can feed yourself three square meals, brush your teeth, and not leave your mental health unattended. You can put yourself out there, go on dates, have regular and completely unpleasant interactions with strangers, but where you fight for “dessert”. You have this way of holding things to yourself, the same way people refuse dessert at the end of a meal because you “don’t need it”, because you are “full” of course. You don’t tell people that you want them in your life because they don’t “need” because everything is “going well” without them. To find love, you need to learn to indulge. You need to learn to allow yourself the pleasure of someone’s company, even if it is not essential to your survival on this planet. Get in touch with your inner Ariana Grande and memorize the mantra, “I see it, I like it, I want it, I got it.”
VIRGO
You’re too quick to let people go, Virgo. You unfreeze yourself, by the way, soon enough, like a mentally ill person who stuck a Tupperware container full of hot peppers directly in the fridge, and you end up wasting unnecessary energy trying to turn the hot thing into a cold thing before it’s natural. You waste your emotional energy trying to force someone to leave you against their will. You put words in people’s mouths, or worse, close the door on them while they are fighting for a relationship. You are too afraid to have a conversation, to let people decide for themselves whether they want to live with you or not, until you make a decision for them so that they are not caught off guard. You hurt yourself before anyone else has a chance to hurt you. Your anxiety does not allow things to take their natural course. To find time to lead things to their final destination, as gravity pulls the marble to the lowest point, nook, or cranny. The person you are meant to be with will fall into place if you just let them.
PISCES
Too afraid to settle down, he abandons people before they have a chance to shine. You give books a fair chance over those who might like them, knowing that it may take a few paragraphs, pages, or chapters for the good stuff to start. Some flowers bloom slower than others, and you of all people should understand that. You’ve read too many romances where the love interest does all the work. It’s all talking, initiating, investigating, announcing, and proposing, but love doesn’t work that way. Sometimes both parties are shy, slow to speak, nervous, hesitant, or socially awkward. Just give someone as many chances as you would give yourself in the same situation. Sometimes the chemistry is there, just hidden under the stage of first meeting nervousness, or awkwardness about dating in general. Comfort comes with familiarity, and you can’t miss someone you don’t even know. As long as you give people more time, you’ll get a personal connection better than anything you’ve ever read in a book. Something that makes fairy tales look like stability.
