(April 20 – May 20)
The word “angry” seems too weak to describe the way you work sometimes. It’s like…”wrath of God,” maybe? And like the proverbial bull in the china shop, you just break things when you’re angry. It sounds like a contradiction, but the reason you are so angry is not because you are emotionless; it’s because you feel it a lot. You are extremely sensitive, but because you are always yelling at people, no one notices that you are sensitive. All they see is anger. Be honest with yourself. Think about the people you respect the most. How many of them are burning like you? None of them, right? Learn from their example.
(October 23 – November 21)
She is shy, often angry, and tends to fly off the handle. And I’m almost afraid to say these things, because you’re not just angry, you’re vindictive. And while there are many things in this world that can make anyone with a brain and a heart angry—a lot of things—you won’t fix any of these injustices by letting your heart race, sweat, let your blood boil, and eventually blow a gasket. The next time you feel angry, take a day before you let your frustration translate into action. A full day. Most of the time, and trust me on this, you won’t feel bad the next day. It’s not always fun to be bullied. Put down anger, and a world of happiness will open up to you.
3. ARIES
(March 21 – April 19)
Often your anger is not directed at—not at the things and people that actually make you angry, but at the loved ones around you. You are talented, smart, charming, and loving…but you push those close to you by letting your anger get the best of you. There is a lot of injustice in this world. But unless you take action to correct the injustice, finding and staying angry about it is an injustice to you. Being angry all the time affects your physical and mental health. Think about how much time you have spent in anger. Anger that leads to good action can be good. But anger that goes nowhere is poison to the soul.
4. SAGITTARIUS
(November 22 – December 21)
Hello, you angry curmudgeon, you. I have a question: Are you angry with the people around you, or are you angry with them on your own for allowing these annoying and soulless things into your life in the first place? The fact that you often get angry—not always, but you get angry, angry most of the time—doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. As strange as it sounds, you often get angry with others because you have been better to them than they deserve. It’s always the same song and dance: Eventually you lose your cool because you’re too nice to people, get bullied, and get upset that they’re trying to take advantage of you. If you learn to be assertive, your anger problem would disappear.
5. AQUARIUS
(January 19 – February 18)
Have you ever been mellow? Never tried it? Frustrated by simple things, you let things get to you. Things like stopping customer support. Things like waiting an hour before your appointment before the doctor is ready to see you. It doesn’t take much to send you into a complete tizzy. Start with baby steps—let yourself be angry during the days when you need to work (anger can be a great motivator), but vow to spend every minute of every weekend sipping champagne in a hot tub. Be aware of your anger, practice your breathing, and control yourself. You look better when you’re cool than when you’re angry.
6. LEO
(July 23 – August 22)
Sometimes you’re a lion, sometimes you’re a pussycat. You can go either way, depending on the day, the weather, and the fast-moving conditions. You’re less aggressive than you used to be, because unlike many hotties above you on this list, you learn from your mistakes. You realize that unless the anger leads directly to action that solves the problem that angered you in the first place, anger is a dead end. At some point the stars aligned and made you realize that even though the hotheads are on fire, the cool heads are winning.
7. GEMINI
(May 21 – June 20)
Are you angry or soft? Tricky question—you’re twins, so you’re angry again mellow. Sometimes you are angry, angry, and upset. Next, you are calm, flexible, and spirited. There is one thing that stands out about your anger, though—you’re more angry at personal insults and insults than you are at the many forms of social injustice. You may try to justify this by saying that there is really nothing you can do about social injustice and that it is easy to correct any personal wrongs done to you. But maybe it’s because you’re self-centered and selfish. Not that I’m suggesting anything. Okay, maybe I am.
8. CAPRICORN
(December 22 – January 19)
Although you may seem carefree and relaxed, there is a big difference between being gentle and being numb. Unfortunately, he leans heavily on the numb end of the spectrum. You get angry, but you don’t let anyone see it. You tend to close your chest and hide your feelings. You are the only one on this list that I would advise you to get less of More he is always angry. Some battles are worth fighting, and some injustices are worth being angry about. Every once in a while, Capricorn, as your astrologer, I feel it’s my duty to let you know that it’s OK every once in a while to let someone have your goat.
9. CANCER
(June 21 – July 22)
Unlike its namesake, it doesn’t tend to be too crabby. He’s as happy as a clam, as cool as Jell-O, and as easy as Sunday morning. He is slow to anger and quick to forgive. When you were very young, some wise people who cared deeply for you taught you that life is too short not to waste it on hate. Granted, that’s a lesson that can be easily forgotten in the heat of the moment when one feels vulnerable, but your elders have drilled this lesson into your bones. They carefully made you the cool headed person you are today.
10. GIRL
(August 23 – September 22)
Anger can be a major character flaw, but it also works—for example, if oppressed people didn’t rise up in anger, the oppression would continue forever. But even if you were hard pressed, I don’t see you even bothering to get up from the sofa and do something about it. Sometimes I can’t decide if he is soft or lazy. I have never seen you angry. Then again, I’ve never seen you get it happy about anything, or. There have been times when you show so little emotion, I feel compelled to check if you still have a heartbeat. Good things come to those who wait. Then, bad things happen to those who wait too long to see a doctor.
11. LIBRA
(September 23 – October 22)
Your scales are strongly tilted on the soft side of life. You were blessed at birth with a tendency to coolly assess any problem, no matter how concerning or urgent. You look at the world with a cat-like expression of calmness in your eyes, as if you hold in your heart all the wisdom of the elders. You’re laid back and smooth as peanut butter, you’ve had enough bad situations in life without needlessly bothering yourself with anger. So cool, calm, and collected, so completely in control of your emotions that I’m starting to resent you.
12. THE STARS
(February 19 – March 20)
Like your fish name, you are a cold-blooded animal. But that doesn’t mean you’re cold-with the heart—on the contrary, you are a perfect lover with infinite compassion—it just means that you don’t let the demonic spirit of anger rule your life. You don’t let your radiator get too hot. You are smart enough to realize that almost nothing is worth getting angry about, because then anger becomes a the second time problem. Anger makes any problem worse. The world would be a much better place if everyone was as calm as you.
